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She will expect a little romance. What he cried. When you hold her for the first dance she will expect you to hold her like you are planning some exotic and sensual experience for her. Surely not he said. Oh yes replied I.So let’s practice how you will dance with her. What he said. I told him firmly that I didn’t want her to feel she was unloved by the best man, not at my wedding....So I put on a slow, smooch record and got him to hold me, closely and we danced. Not close enough I said, do it like you mean it. And he held me tight and I held him back and we teased a while, and then we danced, and he tried to pull away realising I was to marry his brother the next day. But I told him I was nervous and the close dance was comforting and he was my husband’s brother and reminded me of him so that made it OK.So we danced on.And there it was. His embarrassment, he was stiffening as I rubbed against him. ‘I’m not sure this is such a good idea’ he was pulling away.‘Don’t be silly, it’s the. Ohhh ...ohhh... owww... owwWW... OWWW!” “Paul?” she called, “Paul? Is everything OK? Do you have a door knob inserted now?” she cringed asking. Yowling now, “I think... I think it’s stuck! I can’t get it OUT!” “Paul, please do not tell me that you have a door knob stuck in your ass?” She asked fearfully. “God! Fucking! Damn! It!” He all but screamed. “Do you think I want to have this big ceramic door knob stuck in my ass? It’s a one of a kind antique. What if it breaks in my ass? How will I replace it? Will you fucking do something!” He screeched. “Do? What the hell am I supposed to do, Paul? Do you want me to call 911 for you?” Thinking quickly, she asked, “Do I need to dial the area code for New York before I call 911?” “Huh? What? Why are you calling New York? Just fucking dial 911! I think I tore something!” He yelled. “You tore something? Stop pulling on the fucking door knob, PAUL!” She yelled, wiping the sweat from her temples with the glass-cleaner stained paper.
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